


For Beth

by seaunicorn



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaunicorn/pseuds/seaunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School AU. Alison's been trying to "show" not tell her best friend Beth that she totally has feelings for her and wants to be more than friends. But all her efforts have been seen as platonic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Beth

**Author's Note:**

> The playlist Alison made can be found on 8tracks, and the poem she used in the card is by Tyler Knott Gregson.

There were a lot of things infuriatingly frustrating about Elizabeth Childs.

There was the cocky smirk she had constantly plastered to her face.  There was the annoying confidence with which she unabashedly flirted with everything that had a pulse.  There was the fact that she kept insisting on using the nickname “Ali”, no matter how many times Alison insisted on her not doing that.  But mostly, it was that she couldn’t take a damn hint.

Beth was Alison’s best friend ever since they met their freshman year of high school.  They were both lonely and looking for friends, and when Beth tripped over Alison’s backpack strap at lunch on the first day and dropped her tray of food, it was practically fate.

What Alison didn’t foresee, however, was that Beth was really cute.  And really funny.  And really charming.  It wasn’t long before Alison found herself falling head over heels for her new friend.

Whenever Beth would flirt with people she hardly knew, Alison felt her hands ball up into fists and her lip would tremble and she had to fight off the little green monster and keep herself from doing something incredibly rash and incredibly stupid.  Something stupid like kissing Beth, which is what she always wanted to do whenever this happened.  She wanted to tell those people Beth would flirt with, _back off, she’s mine_!

But the thing is, Beth wasn’t hers.  They were best friends and that’s all.  Sure, their friendship was at a level of physical intimacy that a lot of friendships weren’t at, but that’s just how they were.  Whenever Alison sat down next to her, Beth would pull the smaller girl over so she was sitting in her lap.  Beth would steal bites of Alison’s food or sips of her drink at any open opportunity, and Alison would only scold her half-heartedly.  At sleepovers, they would always sleep in the same bed, even if it was Beth’s little twin sized one.

It was just an aspect of their friendship that they were intimate with each other, and Alison figured that it was strictly platonic.  That didn’t stop Alison from wishing it was more.  She wanted to do something about it, but what could she do?  Beth was her best friend, she couldn’t just _tell_ her.  No, that would be outlandish.  But Alison needed to do _something_.

One day in their junior year of high school, it was the first snow of the season, and Alison noticed that Beth had forgotten her gloves.  At first, she shrugged it off.  It was the first snow, lots of people forgot their gloves.  But then she noticed that every day for the next two weeks, Beth didn’t wear gloves, or a hat for that matter.  Not even when the snow fell so hard you could only see a few feet ahead.

So that weekend, Alison got out her yarn and her knitting needles and she spent the whole weekend knitting a new pair of mittens for Beth, and a matching beanie to go with them.  The yarn Alison used was a deep blue, which she knew was a color that Beth loved.  She hoped her gift would show Beth her true feelings.

Monday morning, they met out in front of school, like they usually do.

“I have something for you!” Alison said, forgoing their usual greetings.

Beth looked confused.  “What for?  Last I checked it wasn’t my birthday.  Or Christmas.”

“Just because, silly,” Alison said.  “Now, close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Beth shrugged and did as Alison asked.  Alison took the gloves out of her bag and slipped them onto Beth’s bare hands, and grabbed the hat.

“Okay, open.”

Beth looked at the soft, royal blue mittens that now covered her hands.  She moved her fingers around, testing the feel of them.  She smiled.  “What’s this for?”

“Well, I just noticed, the last few weeks it’s been snowing and you haven’t been wearing gloves,” Alison said.  “I don’t know if it’s because you don’t have any or because you just don’t want to wear them, but I thought you needed some, so I knitted you these mittens this weekend.  And I made this.”  She held up the knit beanie that matched the gloves.

Beth grinned and took the hat out of her hands, immediately putting it on her head.  “I love them, Ali!  Thank you!”  She pulled Alison into a tight hug.  Alison buried her face in Beth’s neck and inhaled.  She loved the way Beth always smelled like pine needles.  But Beth ended the hug far too quickly.  She looked down at the gloves on her hands again.  “Seriously, they’re great.  And the color, it’s my—“

“Your favorite, I know,” Alison interjected.  “That’s why I used it.”

“You are seriously the best friend a girl could ask for,” Beth said.  She turned around and without waiting for Alison to follow her, headed onto school grounds.

“Yeah,” Alison said sadly after Beth was out of earshot.  “Friend.”

Alison decided that she would try to not be as subtle with her gesture of affection.  In the last week of school before winter break, Alison suggested they have a potluck to celebrate the oncoming weeks off.

“A potluck?” Beth asked.

“Yeah,” Alison said.  “Like, we both bring different things to eat and share.”

“I know what a potluck is, Ali,” Beth said.  “Don’t we already do that basically?”

“No, you just take my food,” Alison said.  “Besides, potlucks aren’t just a regular lunch!  They’re nicer!”

“Right, right, of course,” Beth said.  “Well, that sounds fun.  How’s Friday?  And do I have to, like, cook things or can I just buy something?  You know I can’t cook.”

“Friday is perfect,” Alison said.  “And that’s fine.  As long as you don’t forget!”

“I won’t, I won’t!” Beth reassured.  “Ye of little faith.”

Alison knew that Beth would forget, so Thursday night she slaved away making potato salad and pulled pork for sandwiches and, most importantly cookies.  Alison was good at cooking in general, but baking was the area she could shine, and this was how she was going to show Beth how she felt.  She made perfect little heart shaped sugar cookies, decorated with pink frosting.  When Alison finished baking them, she took one look and nodded in satisfaction.  This was sure to be obvious enough that Beth would know what she was trying to say.

The next day, when Beth and Alison met for lunch, Alison held up the picnic basket that she brought the food in.

“Oh, shit,” Beth said.  “That potluck thing was today, wasn’t it?”

“See, I knew you would forget,” Alison said.  “But it’s fine, I brought extra.”

They found a table in the corner of the cafeteria and sat down.  Alison took a table cloth out of the basket and spread it across their table before putting the basket on top of it.  Beth giggled.  “You’re adorable, you know that?”

Alison blushed and said nothing.  Instead she took the food out of the basket and placed it on the table.  Along with what she made last night, she also picked up a small fruit salad from the store.

“Oh man, this looks great!” Beth said.  “Are those cookies?”  She lunged for the Tupperware container that had the heart shaped cookies inside and took one out.

“Elizabeth Childs, the cookies are for dessert!” Alison scolded.  “You’ll spoil your appetite.”

Beth ignored her.  “Oh my god, they’re hearts?  That’s so cute!”  She took a bite and moaned.  “Mmmmm, Ali, this is so good.  You are the best.”

Beth made no further comment on the shape or on what implications it might have.  Alison wanted to take one of those cookies and slap her in the face with it.

Alison thought her next plan was flawless.  When you can’t find words yourself, what does the talking better than music?

The week before Christmas, Alison spent hours on her computer, searching through her music library and the internet for the perfect songs to tell Beth how she felt.  She went through various songs from musicals to Backstreet Boys to Taylor Swift.  They weren’t necessarily songs that Beth listened to, but they spoke for Alison’s feelings.

Alison finally perfected the playlist the night before hers and Beth’s annual Christmas Eve Eve sleepover.  They always spent Christmas and Christmas Eve with their families, so the day before they would spend together and exchange gifts.  Alison burned the CD and designed a simple cover for the case with the words “For Beth” on it.  She also printed out the tracklist to put on the back.  Once the CD was finished, she wrapped it.

She knew Beth would love it, but it seemed too simple, so Alison got to work on one of her handmade cards.  The card was beautifully decorated with a Christmas tree and stars, and she added the final touch with a little bit of glitter; not too much, just the perfect amount.  Just in case the music itself wasn’t enough, Alison got out her calligraphy pen, found one of her favorite poems, and copied it into the card.

 _I don’t care the room_  
or the people filling it,  
I don’t hear the words  
or the music playing,  
when you walk in,  
every single thing  
stops.  
I see you,  
only.

At the end of the poem, Alison signed her name with a heart.

The next day, Alison went over to Beth’s house with her gift in tow, heart beating erratically in her chest.  Beth greeted her with an enthusiastic hug and dragged her into the house and to the living room, where she had already set up for the evening with a stack of DVDs, snacks and drinks on the coffee table, and blankets and pillows on the couch.  They both sat down on the couch.

“Ok, first things first,” Beth said.  “Presents!”

Alison nodded and pulled the small gift and card out of her bag.  “Do you want to go first or should I?”

Beth shrugged.  “Doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, then I’ll go first,” Alison said.  _Before I chicken out_.  She dropped the present in Beth’s lap quickly.  “Merry Christmas, Beth,” she mumbled.

Alison tried not to blush as Beth read the card carefully.  Her concentrated expression turned into a small smile when she finished.  “Thanks,” she said.  Then, she tore the paper off the gift.  “What’s this?” she asked, inspecting the CD.

“It’s a mixtape,” Alison said.  “I made it for you.”

Beth opened the case and inspected the tracklist, looking at each song.  When she finished reading, she turned to look at Alison again.  “This is great, Ali,” she said.  “I love it!”

Alison felt herself relax.  “You do?” she gasped.

“Of course!” Beth said.  “All these songs are so… _you_.  It’s like a little piece of my best friend for me to listen to!”

“Friend,” Alison repeated, a little bitter.

“Yeah,” Beth said nervously.  “That’s what we are, right?  Friends?”

Alison took a quick breath and shook her head in frustration.  She had knitted mittens, baked heart shaped cookies, and made her a mixtape with songs chosen to explicitly express her feelings.  The card had a poem written inside for goodness sake!  What more could she do?

“Elizabeth Childs,” Alison said angrily.  “You are _so_ infuriating!”

“What did I do?” Beth asked, genuinely confused.

“Did you even read the poem?  Did you look at the songs?”

“Yeah, but—“

“But nothing!” Alison shouted, exasperated.  “I baked you cookies!  _Heart shaped_ cookies!  I made you a mixtape!  What else do you want me to do?!”

“Alison, what are you talking about?”

“Beth, I’ve been trying to tell you that I have feelings for you!” Alison finally blurted out.

Beth’s jaw dropped at Alison’s declaration.  “You what?”

“I have feelings for you!” Alison gasped.  “Romantic feelings!  And I couldn’t get the courage to tell you, so I tried to show you, with all these things I’ve been doing.”  She poked a finger at Beth’s chest accusingly and continued.  “But _you_ are such an oblivious _idiot_ that you didn’t pick up on any of it!  I thought you knew me, but if you couldn’t even notice what I was trying to say, then—mmmf!”

Beth cut off Alison’s speech by grabbing her arms and pulling her in for a kiss.  Alison froze in shock, and before she could respond to the kiss, Beth pulled away and smiled nervously.

When Alison finally regained her composure, she glared at Beth.  “Elizabeth Childs,” she started.  “You feel the same and you _still_ didn’t notice?!”

“I’m sorry!” Beth said.  “You’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up that you might like me too.”

Alison sighed.  “I suppose I should’ve just… told you.  Instead of all those stupid gestures.”

“Hey, no, they weren’t stupid,” Beth reassured.  “I love those mittens, I wear them, like, every day.  And this CD is great.  We should listen to it.”

“What, now?” Alison asked.

“Yeah, totally.”  Beth got up off the couch and retrieved her laptop.  She put the CD in and clicked play.  When the first notes of _It’s Gotta Be You_ by the Backstreet Boys played, Beth attempted to suppress her giggles, to no avail.

“Hey!” Alison said, smacking Beth’s arm as she sat down again.  “Stop making fun!”

“I’m not!  I’m not!” Beth said.  “It’s totally cute.”

“It is?” Alison asked, blushing.

Beth nodded.  “Most definitely.”  She turned around momentarily to look for something and then turned to face Alison again, holding a small box.  “Now, it’s my turn.”  She handed the box over.  “Merry Christmas, Ali.”

Alison opened the box to find a necklace with small blue beads along the chain.  The charm was circular and had a pattern in the middle.  She gasped.  “Is this what I think it is?”

Beth nodded.  “It’s Glinda’s necklace.  From Wicked.”

Alison threw her arms around Beth and hugged her tightly.  “Oh, Beth!” she exclaimed.  “Thank you so much!  I love you!”

They both grew silent at Alison’s last words, which now had much deeper meaning after their confessions of the night.  They had said those words many times before, but it had always had a strictly platonic, friendly meaning.  Not anymore.

Alison gulped and opened her mouth to… she wasn’t so sure, but she had to say something.  “I mean… what I meant to say was that…”  She sighed and wracked her brain for something to add to make things less awkward.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Beth said.  She moved her hand up to Alison’s face, stroking her cheek.  “I love you, too.”  Beth smiled shyly when she looked at Alison.

Beth’s adorable smile always drove Alison crazy and now, with Beth looking at her like that, she couldn’t take it anymore.  She leaned forward and pressed their lips together again.  Beth hummed contentedly at the contact and wrapped her arms around Alison, pulling her closer, and kissing back through a giddy smile.

Beth suddenly fell backwards onto the couch, and Alison landed on top of her.  They both laughed, but it wasn’t long before their lips met again, kissing between giggles.  They kissed to the sounds of Demi Lovato and Glee and Wicked, and maybe Beth wasn’t the biggest fan of any of the artists on the CD, but she was definitely a big fan of Alison, and now that these songs would make her think of Alison’s hands in her hair and Alison’s lips on her own and Alison’s exploring tongue, she was going to like them a lot more.


End file.
